Maybe you know it too: winter has arrived and something happens instinctively: you go into a kind of reflection mode. The Earth has taken another round around the Sun and we are moving into the quiet months, those that for many primarily are spent indoors, and it is time for self-reflection. For some it is a positive experience, for others it is not so nice, but the fact is that the seasons come and goes and there's nothing you can do about it. Completely like the changes in life we all face from time to time.
What you can influence is your own awareness of balance in life and your motivation to develop yourself. To create and/or sustain motivation, you need to view things through your own worldview and try to see the bigger picture: What has value for you? Where are you heading in life? Does the rhythm of your year align with the path you feel you have chosen? How are your social life and working life functioning, and how do you maintain your motivation in relation to all of these aspects? It is about challenging your comfort zone so that you do not stagnate. It is about having the courage to change – and that can only come from within. It stems from your mental resilience.
Mental resilience can be developed throughout life. When we face appropriately balanced challenges – neither too great nor too small – we gain the opportunity to recognise when we are operating on autopilot and when it makes sense to consciously take manual control. In this way, we can prevent our automatic reaction patterns from taking over at unhelpful moments.
When you have handled a demanding situation in a satisfactory way, the body and your experience store the message: “This wasn’t as dangerous as it felt.” This means you move from the comfort zone into the growth zone – without tipping over into the panic zone – and you will later be able to approach similar situations with greater calm and clarity. In this way, we gradually expand our comfort zone and strengthen our mental resilience by repeatedly taking manual control in situations that challenge us just enough.
For me, it works to have a goal, a project – whether that is a basic training programme that needs adjusting, a book whose way of thinking I need to immerse myself in, a mountain climb I want to complete, or something more down to earth, like a specific task with my children. I need to keep setting myself challenges, to keep expanding my comfort zone; otherwise I feel as though I stagnate – and I do. That probably applies to most people, to some extent.
8 pieces of advice to keep motivation alive:
- Set a personal and realistic goal that benefits yourself and others. Other people's ideas about what goals you should set rarely work as well as your own. It's your life.
- Find out what you need to learn to achieve the goal - and split the goal into sub-goals. Even the greatest journey starts with a single step.
- Talk to people you resonate with and who can support you, making it easier for you to reach your goal – and to those whose qualities and capabilities inspire you. Make it a habit to seek out new inspiration through books, talks, and similar sources. Get involved.
- Work out how best to calm your mind when you feel you are losing control and direction. You can use your body to settle the brain’s alarm system through physical activity, as exercise releases endorphins in the brain and makes it easier for us to learn new things. Active learning and movement are some of the cornerstones of self-motivation and will also help you handle your challenges more effectively.
- Be aware of when you are operating on autopilot and when it is necessary to consciously take manual control – and of the situations that may get in the way of reaching your goal, so you can prepare for them before they arise. Take a deep breath just beforehand. Those few seconds help you regain control and stay focused. (Breathing training is a practice in its own right.)
- Find your own way of keeping track of your goals and sub-goals on an ongoing basis. What would it mean to you to reach your goal? Write down the good ideas you come up with along the way. Clarify your ceiling and floor goals – in other words, what does a really good day look like (your best performance), and what does a pressured day look like (your minimum performance)? It is important to define your expectations of yourself, both big and small, so that you can succeed every day. A rule of thumb is that it often takes 8–12 weeks of daily practice to stabilise a new direction in life. This is therefore a process – align your expectations with yourself and give yourself the time.
- Reward yourself along the way: The best reward is when a milestone is met. Give yourself a high-five. Do it even if the goal is not completely reached, because praise creates an open and learning state in the brain, which again encourages to keep trying. Even if the road to get there may seem difficult.
- Reflection: If a project does not succeed, you must look at where to adjust next time in relation to these 8 pieces of advice. Sometimes it is due to the challenges being too small or too big, sometimes it's just a lack of practice. It is normal to be overwhelmed by the feeling that "it is too difficult" and also to be paralyzed by negative thoughts that run in circles. A good question in those situations is: "What do I need to learn right now?" That question can help you shift the focus back to action rather than staying in the feeling of being overpowered by the negative thoughts.
If you train and develop your mental resilience, you train your self-confidence and self-esteem at the same time and thereby gain increased self-control, which supports self-motivation. From here, your tolerance, social intelligence and openness can be increased.
Remember, it is we ourselves who place the greatest limitations on ourselves and on our lives. Wishing you a thoughtful winter out there.
HEXES
This video motivates us on an off-day :o)